Back on Track

I may not have found my purpose or the point in the grand scheme of things but I certainly have a goal for today and that is to write this paper! Found a good study spot after arriving on campus ill-prepared without my parking permit or student id to check out any books I instead downloaded articles and printed them and now am at a hipster cafe invigorated with a looming deadline.
It's a gloomy, cold and rainy day. The perfect day to stare at articles and a computer screen, sipping hot tea and eating this delicious artichoke chicken sandwich. There are hard-knocks every day but its how we handle them that makes the difference. I intend to wear a smile at the gloom. Hope you all enjoy whatever moments of happiness find you today!

Point?

We used to give my dad a hard time for taking too long when it came to telling a story or anecdote. We would inevitably say the word "Point?" somewhere in the string of words that seemed to be nowhere nearer a conclusion than at his opening sentence. He would grin, and "aw, shucks" his way into a summed up version of the story he was trying to convey. I feel a bit like that almost every day now. I feel like my life is this long string of a story that really doesn't have any kind of end or grand goal in sight. I feel like I should be working towards something, saving for something, learning FOR something. But I have absolutely no idea what that SOMETHING is. Do I open a cafe? Do I write? Do I teach? Do I throw myself back into school and learn how to be a veterinarian? (The first three options are real options, the last is simply for laughs) I just want a reason. I want a place. I want a purpose.

And I know this is probably some watered-down version of a quarter life crisis, Garden State of mind and all that shit but really, honestly, it could very well be this stupid weather. Whatever it is, it's unsettling and oddly, it doesn't make me want to run away - because I'm not so sure wherever I go will have the answer I'm looking for. But I do know, the answer is not here. Not in this place. God help me, making matters no better, the holidays are coming. Blech.

I promise to have a more upbeat post soon, at least when the sun comes out again.

Empty Home

It was so quiet and dark when I got home last night I found myself turning on every light, television and laptop, just to be surrounded with noise instead of silently alone. This morning's cool sun and cawing birds brings more comfort to my week of solitude. I intend to be productive, go to farmers market for fresh vegetables and maybe get to write a little. I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday. It's lovely out there.

Sonnet for the Sun

The sun has been out every single day this week. It has warmed the air, widened smiles, and shocked the colors of the changing leaves to a vibrancy we don't normally get to see during cold and dreary days of quick falls and too early winters. It has been an interesting week. Changes, like the leaves and seasons, are causing me to be somewhat unsettled. School is going well, work is mediocre and slow, and my writing has all but dried up. I feel like I need a reawakening of creativity. I wish for the dedication and cheer that an artist such as Sark has. It can't be that hard to dedicate an hour a day to writing, can it?
Here's to a new week. I hope you all have a lovely, inspired and restful weekend.
V

Oh Hoorah for Productivity!

I cannot ever express to you how happy being productive makes me. Not necessarily in work but if I am able to clean/clean out/reorganize/write/finish an assignment or simply check off a list I become the happiest girl you'll meet. Today was no exception - I wrote out a brand new list, prioritized and time managed and have steadily check off one by one and made efforts towards completing the others. SO nice. And the blue skies and bright sun helps all the more! Delicious food brought to me magically from mother and friend. Just a lovely day. I hope the night turns out to be just as wonderful!
V