Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Keep Repeating "Everything is going to be OK"

Why is it so easy to tell others how everything is going to turn out alright and be ok but not take that comfort for yourself? I have been driving myself mad with worry about paying enough off and making enough to NOT worry when I move that I'm missing out on the time I have left here. I know it's all going to be alright. I know it. But I keep forgetting and allowing myself to be swallowed up with the fright of not having enough to make ends meet. Even if I were to stay in Indiana I'm not sure I would be able to pay off this debt that the great and glorious college bestowed upon me alongside my diploma. So, why not go and not afford my bills somewhere else. I'll probably have a better chance of finding a better job there anyway. If I stay here I'll end up serving food for the rest of my life. I must go, I am going. What I need is a story. A project to get excited about. I need to have something to work on now that I have nothing to work on! Like Meg Cabot said, "Write the kind of story you would like to read." 37 days left...

Monday, November 12, 2012

Taking Care

Yet another phrase that I love: "take care." As if "care" was something you can grasp or hold onto or is physically present and there available to you to take. I took care of myself today. I spontaneously booked a massage and a facial. Mondays, after serving the whole weekend, find me feeling drained, groggy and sore. Needless to say I drifted in and out of snoring fits and unconsciousness during my massage - the therapist told me after I emerged that I would...feel a bit slow today. And that's how I feel - how I want to feel. The days are going quickly by and I have a little more than six weeks left in this town. And I need to remind myself to be kind to myself. I hope you are kind to yourselves today. If not a massage or trip to the spa, take care, take a moment of reflection and quiet. There are so few of them to be had anymore...