Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Teacups, tall hats, tit-mouse and tales...all of these things and more are why I love the mad hatter and hare the best in Alice and Wonderland. The Queen scared me, the twins irritated me (even then I didn't like children) but the long, long table with teacups overflowing, chipped, piled high and spouting steam always made me long for a way to pull up one of those high-backed chairs. Sitting around a table with friends and loved ones, telling jokes, laughing at their stories and practically knowing exactly what the next story would be and the pleasant surprise of a new one. That is the place I would want to rest if I ever fell down the rabbit hole...

Thursday, June 21, 2012


After only a few hours sleeping, getting up for a one-on-one training session was not something I was particularly looking forward to. However, I did it. I was even early. My sore quads and droopy eyes continue to remind me how much work I put into this morning's session. And even more of a reminder of how much work I've put into transforming the little (not so much) ol' body of mine. I never thought I would run a 5K once a week. I never thought I would budget and prioritize a twice-weekly personal training session. I never thought I would feel (gasp) athletic. Truly, it has been something that has helped me stay sane. I may not get around to working on my thesis everyday, or doing the dishes, or catching up on all those books I planned on reading this summer. But I rarely miss a workout. And I like that about me now. It gives me strength and peace and that's all any recently-turned 25 year old can ask for. Isn't it? (and no, I'm not either of the blondes in the photos above and below...just inspiring)

Saturday, June 9, 2012

The tears are coming

I am nearing my 25th birthday. 25 has always been a year of importance to me - some have 30, others reach 27, 48 or 60 and think back on their lives and consider their futures. Mine is 25. This is probably because I truly do cherish and hold the value of youth high, the weight of age and forgetfulness, slowing down and losing touch frightens me so I suppose by beginning to look back and plan forward should begin earlier for me than others. Turning 25 next week terrifies me. I feel as if I no longer have any excuse to live a life of a child without anything significant being done or experienced. I can only serve food and go to school in this Midwest town for so long before I self-destruct. I do not want to be numb. I want to be enthused by everything and everyone that I meet and encounter. I want to write about my experiences and I want to have experiences to write about. I love my family dearly and will miss them terribly, but I just know there are other families out there waiting for me...other groups that have arms wide open waiting for my arrival. And yes, I am terrified. I do not want to go anywhere alone and I feel like there is a greater part of me that wants to remain here, play it safe, and grow old in the veritable midsection of the country. And perhaps I can. Would it be financially possible to own a home here and afford to travel the world? I don't have any answers right now. Apologies for the rambling but I find myself in a place of rambling, scraping for answers and direction and the discipline it takes to be productive and happy. The tears are coming...farewell for now.