Wednesday, April 25, 2012

New layout

So, I am officially NOT a fan of this new layout. It is cold, it is generic, and I feel as if I am missing some sort of connection to the page that once cradled my thoughts before sending them out for your few eyes to read. Which, probably means I will begin to post less, irritated with change, unable to accept any kind of thing that is different from what I have gotten used to. I am such a conundrum sometimes - all I can think about right now is the incredible change that is going to soon occur in my life when classes are over and all I think about is writing my thesis. And THEN another change will occur when school isn't even a part of my life at all - I will have a Masters. And even another THEN, I will be moving. To where you may ask? I have no idea, but that's ok. It's going to be somewhere far away and lovely. However, there are some things that are going to change that I fear. I fear that I will not be able to stick to the structure of a designated time to write. I fear that I won't move away as soon as I want to and I'll get locked into serving for years (which is in effect another fear of change - a fear that if I try something new, like writing, I may fail). So many fears, so many plans, so many hopes. What are you hoping for today?

Thursday, April 12, 2012

So close

My eyes feel so heavy, they droop lower with each line I read. I went in to work for a sick girl last night and was out until 1:30...which didn't truly give me the rest I needed for an 8am training session and then marathon study afternoon. I am making progress but still feel as if there is so much to get done before beginning a long, long weekend of work. Three doubles in a row, Friday, Saturday and Sunday beginning at 6:30 and surely ending close to 2am...I pray for a break in between - of at least two hours or so to either rest, take a walk, or eat. I will be fine - I've had practically this entire week off. But of course, it is now crunch time for school and even this brief and gifted 7 minutes away from the texts on literacy and autobiography theory feels like a cool shower or a soft down pillow cradling my weary head. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. This will probably be my last post for a few days...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


I woke up this morning earlier than I normally do on Tuesdays. Tuesdays are generally my days off - a day where I sleep until almost ten, attend a torture session with our personal trainer and then meander the day away either shopping, catching up on homework, getting out of town for a minute or on my most indulgent days...nap for hours. But this day I have planned many things because I know that I have days this week that are also free and without work until Friday. So I decided to get up early and begin by writing and reflecting on what hopes I have for this day...

-Personal training in an hour
-A healthy and hearty breakfast
-Grocery shopping
-Mail in state taxes (gross)
-Meeting with professor to discuss direction for thesis and hopefully gain an insight into why I am unable to secure a third reader!!!!
-Complete outline for Thursday's presentation
-Revise the many drafts I have that will be due in a few short weeks
-Have dinner with a lovely friend and pick her brain for an "expertise" for another final paper - looking forward to what this paper will be.
-Bed early...

The sky is rippled with overcast today, the wind is strong and on it blows a harsh chill. Our midwestern weather does not disappoint in its tendency to be unpredictable, fair and then harsh and more often coming in like a lamb and out like a lion and sometimes brings about the personalities of ostriches and billy goats. I am grateful for the cold and clouds though, it keeps my mind from wandering and wishing I could be out lying belly up in the sun, daydreaming and warming myself on the beach.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Glorious Free Time

I do so enjoy the days when I take advantage of my free time. I slept in until 9:45 today, meandered into the shower listening to music and then saw a hasty text to meet my mother and sister for breakfast - to which I quickly went. After beginning my first half of the meal as the finished their last, I was left alone to enjoy my coffee, get my upcoming work schedule and found myself here, at Barnes and Noble, getting the many things I have to do done. I work in a little less than two hours and have checked a great many of my to-do's off of my list. It's such a great feeling and cannot wait until my list is comprised of not much more than working on my thesis and enjoying the beauty of the warm summer. I can't wait to catch up on "fun" reading, movies, tv shows and many walks and activities spent outside. It's going to be a glorious summer and I am truly blessed to be able to enjoy so much free time - even with two jobs and a full load in school.