Friday, February 22, 2013

Early Transitions

I have been in Texas for nearly 2 months, and I am already transitioning from one job to another. I didn't really expect to be making these calls so soon, I suppose I became comfortable at home, in Indiana, always relying on the jobs I'd had for years or knowing about the places with the guarantee they would be good and good for me. I took the second job that was offered to me here, a mere three weeks into my residence. It sounded right, familiar position, respectable hourly, "paid vacations and benefits" (which I've yet to see any sign of) and eagerness to have me. So I took it. I was fearful of poverty and having to ask for help or being forced to get some sort of menial job that would kill my soul faster than my savings account. And eventually, as some things do, what seemed good at first, turned out to be less than good, bad even. I often worked mid-shifts, those detestable 12-8's and 11-7's which had me trying to get up early enough to take advantage of my hours in the morning and staying up too late, unwilling to accept that the day was already over and I should go to bed. And most importantly, I haven't been writing. I have been so worried about money and the time I didn't have, I shut off, shut down, and shut out the one thing that makes me so happy.

And here I sit, in Panera, having gotten up later than I wanted, not getting my new license or plates installed on my car but attempting to enjoy a bit of my morning before going in at 12. I wrote schedules for the transition to my absence until my eyes crossed last night, emailed the managers and owners of my plans and wait, eagerly, for their response. I just want it to be final. I don't mind putting my notice in, I don't mind the time I work while working my way out. I do mind not knowing what they have to say. I want to be able to write my own schedule, I want to write in my time to write. So I wait.

It was just an hour that I had here. Barely enough time to drink a cup of coffee, making it through my blog roll, find inspiration. But one must attend to their responsibilities while they are still theirs to handle.