Keep Repeating "Everything is going to be OK"

Why is it so easy to tell others how everything is going to turn out alright and be ok but not take that comfort for yourself? I have been driving myself mad with worry about paying enough off and making enough to NOT worry when I move that I'm missing out on the time I have left here. I know it's all going to be alright. I know it. But I keep forgetting and allowing myself to be swallowed up with the fright of not having enough to make ends meet. Even if I were to stay in Indiana I'm not sure I would be able to pay off this debt that the great and glorious college bestowed upon me alongside my diploma. So, why not go and not afford my bills somewhere else. I'll probably have a better chance of finding a better job there anyway. If I stay here I'll end up serving food for the rest of my life. I must go, I am going. What I need is a story. A project to get excited about. I need to have something to work on now that I have nothing to work on! Like Meg Cabot said, "Write the kind of story you would like to read." 37 days left...