All the necessary steps are beginning to be taken for the next phase in my life. Before, I would merely have to purchase the textbooks, read a few chapters and make sure I had some scrap of unscribbled paper to take notes on in class. Now, as I enter the part of my education where I write my thesis...I am finding myself drafting proposals, gathering and conferring with reading committees, writing countless emails and researching how my little, insignificant ideas can be placed in the world of literature and writing out there. I feel both more important and adult-like and at the same time childish and wandering around in a vast new arena with rules I don't yet know.
My goals are vague but I know that I have some. I suppose all I have left to do now is keep working on my studies and simultaneously attempt to move my project forward. Draft, revise and revise again.
I hope you are all well. Perhaps I'll take a day away, drive to my old school to be inspired by the changing and growing trees, and feel the peace that will come knowing my sole purpose there will be to write.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
The Life of a Writer
Coming up with just a few short weeks (6 to be exact) until I am done with classes I have begun thinking about what is next. I have to write and complete and defend a thesis (of which I have written none nor written my proposal) but essentially I am looking at a summer filled with working, writing, and preparing to make the great leap of moving away for a short or possibly long time. We still have not picked a place but that doesn't bother me. I feel as if wherever we do go will be an adventure and I have no problem moving back home should it not work out. I have burned no bridges.
But I have been asked, more and more, every day, what I am going to do when I finish my degree. This question almost feels as if it is my final exam, my ultimate test to graduate with a Master's. It's as if to earn this, I must know what to do with it. That is simply not the case. Finding the time to write even this simple blog is a challenge and I don't even have any readers! (except you Mom and Dad, hello.) But I do have high hopes for what my life is going to look like not only after I complete my classes and final papers, but what it will look like when I move somewhere new. Naturally I will find a job, either in my field or out of it, but I believe my great, grand, magnificent answer to all those wondering faces is that what I intend to do - is live my life and write about it. I want to have the time and freedom to try and get published and from what I've heard and read - that is a job in and of itself. So, if it means I need to work in a Starbucks or some restaurant or something somewhere that will pay the bills and have the freedom to leave work at work and come home to write and submit - then that's what I'm going to do.
And I think, honestly, that's the reason I want to move away. I am not a fan of the Midwest, true, but the winters aren't all that bad. This town isn't all that dull. It's just not as inspiring. And I know myself, if I stayed, I would work constantly. Having two jobs again, I would end up working six days a week, dawn til dusk. And to NOT do that is what I've been saving for. Of course I'll work wherever I go, but I also want to have days off, nights off, weekends off, to observe my surroundings and what those surroundings are doing and stirring in my soul. I want to write about that. I want to write about being displaced and actively experiencing the unfamiliar. There is a familiar face on every corner and I already know their stories here. I want to meet new faces and have the opportunity to envision their stories without already knowing them. It's going to be hard. It's going to be scary. But it's going to be worth it if I can get even one experience, one story, one glimmer of inspiration and at the very least AFFIRMATION that I was able to get out, leave, move out on my own. So let the official count-down begin. In roughly six months I hope to be packing up, heading out, looking sharply around every corner for inspiration and hope of something magnificent.
But I have been asked, more and more, every day, what I am going to do when I finish my degree. This question almost feels as if it is my final exam, my ultimate test to graduate with a Master's. It's as if to earn this, I must know what to do with it. That is simply not the case. Finding the time to write even this simple blog is a challenge and I don't even have any readers! (except you Mom and Dad, hello.) But I do have high hopes for what my life is going to look like not only after I complete my classes and final papers, but what it will look like when I move somewhere new. Naturally I will find a job, either in my field or out of it, but I believe my great, grand, magnificent answer to all those wondering faces is that what I intend to do - is live my life and write about it. I want to have the time and freedom to try and get published and from what I've heard and read - that is a job in and of itself. So, if it means I need to work in a Starbucks or some restaurant or something somewhere that will pay the bills and have the freedom to leave work at work and come home to write and submit - then that's what I'm going to do.
And I think, honestly, that's the reason I want to move away. I am not a fan of the Midwest, true, but the winters aren't all that bad. This town isn't all that dull. It's just not as inspiring. And I know myself, if I stayed, I would work constantly. Having two jobs again, I would end up working six days a week, dawn til dusk. And to NOT do that is what I've been saving for. Of course I'll work wherever I go, but I also want to have days off, nights off, weekends off, to observe my surroundings and what those surroundings are doing and stirring in my soul. I want to write about that. I want to write about being displaced and actively experiencing the unfamiliar. There is a familiar face on every corner and I already know their stories here. I want to meet new faces and have the opportunity to envision their stories without already knowing them. It's going to be hard. It's going to be scary. But it's going to be worth it if I can get even one experience, one story, one glimmer of inspiration and at the very least AFFIRMATION that I was able to get out, leave, move out on my own. So let the official count-down begin. In roughly six months I hope to be packing up, heading out, looking sharply around every corner for inspiration and hope of something magnificent.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Selfish
Today I am spending my hours selfishly. I do not work today. I do not have class today. I have no plans. There is a bit of homework to be completed but not too terribly much that it will be a bother.
I started out with yoga, coffee, and a bagel. Now the strings of Adele, Duffy and Nora Jones are crooning through my laptop speakers, weaving in and out of the bands of sunlight streaming in between the living room window's blinds. It is a beautiful day. Perhaps I'll pack a picnic, go to the park, and sit and eat under the trees. Allergies be damned, I will reenact those lovely days eating outside in Grant Park in London, gloriously alone, without guilt trips or obligations.
Today I will be selfish.
Today I am off the grid.
I started out with yoga, coffee, and a bagel. Now the strings of Adele, Duffy and Nora Jones are crooning through my laptop speakers, weaving in and out of the bands of sunlight streaming in between the living room window's blinds. It is a beautiful day. Perhaps I'll pack a picnic, go to the park, and sit and eat under the trees. Allergies be damned, I will reenact those lovely days eating outside in Grant Park in London, gloriously alone, without guilt trips or obligations.
Today I will be selfish.
Today I am off the grid.
Monday, March 12, 2012
High Hopes for High Temps
Day one of spring break was interesting to say the least. Words that can be used to describe it include surprising, relaxed, disappointing, laughter, Tichu, cheesecake, small victories and exercise. I liked it and it was a good day. I didn't do any homework except begin the documents for my papers that are due next week. I would love nothing more than to knock everything out and think that I have a good shot at it. Training in the morning then a short drive to a sweet B&B to catch up with my Irish twin. Still waiting for an answer on a great and exciting opportunity so take this small post as a check-in amongst the business of work and school and everything else involved in my small life. I am loving the warmth and the storms and the intermittent sunshine. Are you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)