Today, like most days now, I got up early, about 7:32. I took the dog for a meandering walk in the misty rain of the morning, solidifying my decision that there were several things that I should be doing during my morning off instead of running away to hike (although, a good and occasional "running away" is something I firmly believe in). I ran errands, cleaned, organized, and settled back at home for a few hours before heading to work. I dedicated those hours to a "mood board", the homework I was assigned for the blog e-course I signed up for. I cut out pictures in magazines of colors and fonts and images and photograph styles that I was drawn to. More importantly though, I found myself cutting out statements, one-liners that caught my attention such as "You Got This," "Down But Not Out," and "Start Your Day Off Right" and my favorite, was "survive a quarter life crisis." This last phrase was the headliner for your typical solve-your-biggest-problem-in-a-thousand-words article in a women's health magazine, not usually where I find my advice on living or inspiration for my future and outlook.
However, it struck a chord. I moved here a little over two months ago, and I'm sure you've noticed in my past posts, how not-so-perfect it has been. I assumed that after graduating college, moving to a new city, buying a dog and putting my best efforts forth at utilizing my degree and capitalizing on my passions I would find happiness and fulfillment. But it hasn't happened yet. And I look around, and notice that the people I work/ed with in restaurants, have friendships with, and even popular television shows such as the characters on Lena Dunham's show Girls, are dealing with the disappointment of all that was promised to us educated and "new" women, isn't coming to fruition as soon or as easily as we thought it would. And it's so much harder when there are those select few that, (again, I will reference Lena Dunham and her wild success with her show), as well as those bloggers that I know I follow and looks towards for inspiration, make it look so easy.
So, what happens now? Now that I have self-diagnosed a quarter-life crises as an explanation of my anxiety, quiet drives home from work fighting the urge to get on the next plane back to the Midwest, and general lack of motivation to do anything - now what?
Well, now I'll write through and about this phase in my life. I think I've stumbled upon my new theme for my new blog that I am e-coursing my way into creating. I know I can't be the only one out there, (I definitely am not according to the current issue of Women's Health) and I hope that I can work my way through this time with insight into what is causing my feelings of being lost, misdirected and unfulfilled. Be it exercise, religion, diet, philosophy or the simple act of writing and expressing my own unique type of creativity, I will figure this out - or try until I reach my mid-life crisis....