Organizing

Most of the time, when I set about organizing and putting things in their right place, I'm procrastinating. However, today, it really needed to be done. I had about 6 steps full of books and papers and magazines that I placed there days, weeks, even months ago because I thought how smart I would be that I would just grab a stack on my way up...when in reality all I did was get creative and learn how to walk, step and hop over my piles. My "medicine cabinet" aka, hall closet, had been taken over by random samples, half empty (or half full depending on the likelihood that I would use the rest of said product) shampoos, lotions and perfumes, hair ties, headbands, deodorant, vitamins and all manner of travel makeup bags. I threw nearly half of everything that was on the shelves away and organized the rest with their respective fellow products. I also went through my magazines. Now, I have a very difficult time throwing old magazines away because I always need something to read while working out at the gym. I kept the good ones and threw away all the rest - I still have about 30+ back copies of Self, Women's Health, and Cosmo which I intend to donate to my gym before moving away (I still do not have a location picked out). The point of the matter is I did not feel as if organizing today was part of an avoidance of other things that should have been done. I now have the freedom to go to the gym at 8, come home and eat breakfast, nap for three hours, watch Sex and the City for two and then set about throwing things away and organizing in preparation of the aforementioned move. It feels good not to see clutter and I've gotten rather addicted to throwing things away - I think of it as a sort of reverse-hoarding tic, perhaps one that needs to be checked before I've given my sister the option of taking and using some of my no-longer-needed things... I'll save the pictures, paintings, clothes and shoes for her..I doubt she would have any interest in a two year old lotion that once smelled like lavender but now only smells like the plastic bottle it resides in. I hope you all are enjoying your day and also have the freedom to liberate yourselves from the unnecessary!

Walk the Dog in the Sunshine and Rain

Last full day in Seattle - and I really don't want to come home - to reality, responsibility, reason, rules...I'd like to stay here forever, eat and drink and walk around for hours (although my four hour "walk" yesterday left much to be desired, soaking pants, sore feet, and a general disdain for the incessant rain). The walk down is always much easier

than the walk up

But, as long as there is a perfect glass of wine and the book you have been saving for three years to read, then its worth it.

J said yesterday how sorry he was that I had to be here alone. I am not. I don't have to be here alone, I chose to be. There have been moments of sadness, loneliness, and the wish that I had someone to share in the cuteness of all the dogs that populate this magical city.

But, even though there were those brief moments and forecast full of rain and cold, there were more moments of happiness, contentment and breakthrough of the sun.

I wish you all the freedom to take the plunge, spend the savings, and head out to a new adventure. You'll never know what you learn about yourself! <3 V

Getting Lost

I have taken a trip by myself again for the first time in nearly six years. I am in Seattle, folks, and have virtually no direction, no plans, no itinerary other than a coffee shop here, and a chocolaterie there to visit. I intend to do a great deal of writing, resting, snapping photos and well, eating! Sometimes we just need to get lost, throw our hands up in the failed attempt at looking for that perfect french bistro to have a first dinner in, and venture into a dingy diner. You never know the deliciousness that they may cook up, or the magnificent views that you might see. I am sure I will be posting much more in the hours and days to come, but for now, salut! Here are a few shots of what I have seen thus far...

Living in the Moment

Barely woke up in time for 6am yoga - but I made it with six minutes to spare. Poor sis's car wouldn't start so she got up early for no reason and no yoga...there's always next week. Just like last week after an hour stretching and posing and holding, I thought that I would be ready to crash for a two hour nap before 10am personal training - however, I opened my eyes from savasana and felt energized and ready to be productive in between workouts. So I came home, made some green tea and ate a pear and did some laundry. I tidied up my room and the living room and decided to make a trip into Chicago for some Whole Foods action and some delicious Intelligentsia coffee. There have been things that have been hanging heavy on my heart lately, worries that I can't shake or figure out or know what to do with. But I was reminded today in yoga, as I have been in the past of a teaching that reaches across practices, religions and faiths - and that is to live in the moment and let tomorrow worry about tomorrow. I so quickly let myself get wrapped up in what might happen or what should happen or what I want to happen that I miss what's going on around me. I think that's why I yearn for a place where there aren't many seasons because I find myself hoping for a warmer day than this one and miss out on the warmth and the sun that is already shining down. So, as the sweet small girl teaching class this morning whispered for us to keep our intentions close and focused, I will try to remind myself everyday, to just be, here, everyday. I don't need to make a decision for something that might happen down the road and I don't need to worry about how happy or unhappy I could be based upon any decision or choice that I make. I just need to be happy today and trust that I will find happiness tomorrow, in some small or large way. And if I make a mistake, or have a bad day, that's ok too. I can move past it knowing that there is a new and fresh start right around the corner. I hope you all take the time to live in the moment today too. From my learning heart, to yours.

New layout

So, I am officially NOT a fan of this new layout. It is cold, it is generic, and I feel as if I am missing some sort of connection to the page that once cradled my thoughts before sending them out for your few eyes to read. Which, probably means I will begin to post less, irritated with change, unable to accept any kind of thing that is different from what I have gotten used to. I am such a conundrum sometimes - all I can think about right now is the incredible change that is going to soon occur in my life when classes are over and all I think about is writing my thesis. And THEN another change will occur when school isn't even a part of my life at all - I will have a Masters. And even another THEN, I will be moving. To where you may ask? I have no idea, but that's ok. It's going to be somewhere far away and lovely. However, there are some things that are going to change that I fear. I fear that I will not be able to stick to the structure of a designated time to write. I fear that I won't move away as soon as I want to and I'll get locked into serving for years (which is in effect another fear of change - a fear that if I try something new, like writing, I may fail). So many fears, so many plans, so many hopes. What are you hoping for today?

So close

My eyes feel so heavy, they droop lower with each line I read. I went in to work for a sick girl last night and was out until 1:30...which didn't truly give me the rest I needed for an 8am training session and then marathon study afternoon. I am making progress but still feel as if there is so much to get done before beginning a long, long weekend of work. Three doubles in a row, Friday, Saturday and Sunday beginning at 6:30 and surely ending close to 2am...I pray for a break in between - of at least two hours or so to either rest, take a walk, or eat. I will be fine - I've had practically this entire week off. But of course, it is now crunch time for school and even this brief and gifted 7 minutes away from the texts on literacy and autobiography theory feels like a cool shower or a soft down pillow cradling my weary head. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. This will probably be my last post for a few days...

Chilled

I woke up this morning earlier than I normally do on Tuesdays. Tuesdays are generally my days off - a day where I sleep until almost ten, attend a torture session with our personal trainer and then meander the day away either shopping, catching up on homework, getting out of town for a minute or on my most indulgent days...nap for hours. But this day I have planned many things because I know that I have days this week that are also free and without work until Friday. So I decided to get up early and begin by writing and reflecting on what hopes I have for this day...

-Personal training in an hour
-A healthy and hearty breakfast
-Grocery shopping
-Mail in state taxes (gross)
-Meeting with professor to discuss direction for thesis and hopefully gain an insight into why I am unable to secure a third reader!!!!
-Complete outline for Thursday's presentation
-Revise the many drafts I have that will be due in a few short weeks
-Have dinner with a lovely friend and pick her brain for an "expertise" for another final paper - looking forward to what this paper will be.
-Bed early...

The sky is rippled with overcast today, the wind is strong and on it blows a harsh chill. Our midwestern weather does not disappoint in its tendency to be unpredictable, fair and then harsh and more often coming in like a lamb and out like a lion and sometimes brings about the personalities of ostriches and billy goats. I am grateful for the cold and clouds though, it keeps my mind from wandering and wishing I could be out lying belly up in the sun, daydreaming and warming myself on the beach.