Authenticity

A sidenote to those of you that don't really know me - I love reading for more reasons than I can possibly name and one of them is that reading so often is the spark to inspiration. It can give you an idea or thought or word or phrase that will carry you through the day, brighten it, change your attitude, give you a new perspective and make a color that you always thought was just blue, is now cerulean. I read a simple post this morning, no more than three paragraphs long with a description of the writer's grandmother. She said that "she thinks what she says and says what she thinks." At first, I thought she was simply trying to be poetic and fill space and stretch out the well-known phrase "saying what you think." However, it stuck with me and struck a cord. What does it mean to think what you say? We all say a lot of things: "I'd like to run a marathon someday," "I am an informed voter," "I love your hair!" but how often do we really mean the things we say? I know I have certainly fallen victim to the ease of saying something to please a person or please a crowd or please myself and there have been countless times that I have not thought what I have said. I was playing a part. And yes, I know we all play parts, but what would our lives be like if we truly thought what we said? Would we be truer to ourselves? Would the fair weather friends sink back and the true and steadfast ones rise up? Would we be happier? I met a new friend recently and as most new introductions go, we told our stories. Inevitably and I'm not sure how, I always get to the subject of marriage and children. It is probably due to the fact that I am getting older and there are expectations for people my age (oh Bridget Jones, how apt you were). I told this new friend exactly how I felt. I do not want children. I do not believe I will ever get married. I don't judge those that do, I applaud them and purchase them gifts as society demands. And, I am not too silly of a person to not know that I am still relatively young and acknowledge that my opinions on such matters very well may change. As I was standing on my soap box, I realized just how far I had come. Many moons ago, on similar such introductions or first dates or "get-to-know-you-gatherings" or holidays spent with family, I would skirt around my feelings, hoping to not hurt feelings or risk losing a potential date or friend. This new friend, in my mid-twenties, showed me just how little I am willing to sacrifice my own authenticity for their approval. I am me - take it or leave it. I am secure enough on my own to follow my own feet and say what I think (mostly)...