Tuesday, December 15, 2009
it is cold out. frigid, blistering, numbingly cold. that has changed. I worked at a clothing store tonight and left without cash in my hand. there is another change. I am now crazy excited about the uncertainty of my future. I can open an inn, a restaurant, another LIG store, be a professor, an editor, a journalist, a writer. My feelings about uncertainty have changed. I worry about money everyday. That has not changed. however, my ability to gradually and steadily make more money while having a life has. I can start going to church again (YEA!), I can have a social life (not that it was difficult with UK's hours before but this is better - Saturday night can be late because we don't open until 5!!!). Even though I will be making SO MUCH LESS than I did at UK, it's all going to be ok. God has me in His hands. I am so small and so helpless and by being able to fit into His very HAND makes him big enough, strong enough and wise enough that He will figure this out for me. Weird, leaving UK makes me instantly feel more faithful, more trusting, more at peace with how the world is and my place in it. stupid J. Oh please Jesus let me make enough this weekend and next to pay my bills. I know He will but oh the worry!!!