What a Headache

Yes, I do in fact have a real headache but also other headaches are occurring today as well. God did not heed my prayer and allow me to make a "ton of money" last night. He sent me 26 which does not a bill pay! I am now over 260 in debt to 1st source come monday. Woe is me. I plan on calling the new place of employment today and hoping to start as soon as possible, a few hours here and there until I can begin full time after the first of the year. It would be so nice to make at least 150 tonight, it probably won't happen but a girl can dream. I just want to avoid late fees again! Seriously though, debt sucks.

It is a very strange day, biting cold with blue skies interrupted by bleak grayness. There are no clouds, just a film of impending snow. A crazy lady sat outside today while Mom and I were sharing a cup of coffee and updates on our lives. She must have been seriously deranged because it can't be more than 15 degrees out. She even pulled out a book!

I do hope that someday, I will be in a place where dreams of travel, or nice dinners out or a new picture to hang on my wall does not seem like a distant impossibility. Luxuries such as pizza and beer after work are not something I can afford right now and that sucks. I dug my grave, credit card debt and expensive apartments, but I do hope I have the discipline to start making my way out. I don't want to remain in this place. I must must must stop spending frivolously. I just need to make it out of this weekend with what I need. That's all. If I can make enough to pay what I owe and not be behind or indebted to people (Joe and sis) for things I couldn't afford before I will be fine. Oh, that Sprint rebate would be so handy today! Please please God let it be in the mail today, PLEASE! This should really be a money blog, a place where I write so I don't spend! All I need is 399.67. That does not include what I owe Mom for insurance or Joe and sis for rent. I'm sure I can make that this weekend, I just need to make sure I can make it in time to not miss the bank taking it out. Seriously, people in China have the right idea - no banks, they pay everything in cash and up front. No credit, everything is theirs when they purchase it, free and clear. That would be nice.

Dream, dream, dream.

(sorry mom, nothing inspiring, kind of a bitch-fest, I'll try better next time!)